This title is misleading :P This is not a form of birth control and I don’t wish to be on it or have taken it prior to this experience, but I like to joke with Arnold that (sometimes) what I’m experiencing through pregnancy could be taught to high school kids as a form of birth control. HOWEVER, before I continue, I must add this disclaimer of “You guys, I’m totally thankful I’m pregnant, and if you’re trying to conceive and not having luck – I’m sorry. I feel for you, but PREGNANCY IS HARD AND SOMETIMES IT SUCKS.” End.
Second trimester is nearing an end, so I thought I’d give you a collection of not-so-fun side effects that come with being pregnant, that I have had the *pleasure* of experiencing so far!
- Eventually your bladder muscles are going to get weaker and you might pee your pants. Maybe it’s your weak muscles fault and maybe it’s your baby’s fault because he/she is kicking you hard. Peeing your pants in the grocery store is not fun – In fact, it is embarrassing. A few times I have also sneezed or coughed and have peed a little, but that time in the grocery store when Forest kicked it so hard… that topped the cake for sure. Thankfully, Arnold is super cool and didn’t judge me (too harshly) but he did make it clear that he was only into changing one diaper at a time (he’s kidding, but that’s Forest’s diapers, haha).
- Pregnancy glow – is not pregnancy glow. It’s a mix of bloating and sweat because your body is doing things that it’s never done before. I think I’m supposed to blame progesterone for this one? I was excited for the clear and beautiful skin – but I was surprised with WORSE acne and now red splotches on my face and body because my skin doesn’t know what the hell is going on. Keep up with things, skin – I will be excited to get my nice even-toned porcelain glow back. Also, all of my skin itches. My boobs itch, my belly itches… everything itches. Coconut oil is my best friend.
- There are things that happen with your bowel movements that don’t normally happen. Like constipation – Thankfully again, that has been a limited factor (and also no hemorrhoids for meeee) – but I swear sometimes, that’s why you have a baby bump. It’s 95% your full intestines and the other 5% is your baby.
- MOUTH STUFF – like, bleeding gums. There have been a few times where I have cried to Arnold because my mouth is bleeding like I haven’t flossed for 8 years, my teeth hurt – etc. “ARNOLD I SWEAR I BRUSH MY TEETH AM I NOT CLEAN WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WAAHHHH” Blaming baby and his need for calcium. Time to up the Vitamin D and buy a soft toothbrush that barely does anything but is essential or my mouth will gush.
- ALL DAY SICKNESS. Mine was, for the majority, during the first trimester. It’s not just morning time where you feel like puking, it’s all the time. Someone on the lightrail might smell bad, you might think of the wrong food, or you may just be walking and feel the urge to puke. There were even a few times when I had to pull my car over, open the door, and throw up on the road because I wasn’t about to ruin the inside of my car or outfit (hehehe). Now that I’m nearing the third trimester, I have been getting this back again (WHAT) – this has also been accompanied by heartburn and acid reflux with indigestion.
I’m not going to be too complainy and I definitely didn’t get into some more personal details because people read this… and I will spare you the gross details, but pregnancy hasn’t been all that bad. I’m just saying – it aint no cup of tea. I also cry every other day because I feel like a fat cow; and I’m not that far off from being a fat lactating cow either. Pregnancy does have a lot of good things LIKE // feeling your little baby kick and flutter inside of you, and knowing that your body is doing this amazing miraculous thing growing a new person, and that you’re also growing mentally and physically to prepare yourself for the best time of your life.