How far along: 38 weeks as of 02.18.2017 – YIKES. I literally CANNOT. I can’t. Believe. it. I was hoping these lame belly updates would end soon due to an earth side child, but NOPE.
Size of Baby: This week’s unknown fruit is a “winter melon” *googles winter melon* looks like a giant apple with squash-like insides. hopefully that’s not what happens to Forest. This week he is jammed into my “canal” and his back is resting on my right pelvis, WHICH MEANS little bear needs to move his butt over and position himself differently. We’ll say that he’s 45 pounds this week and 3 feet tall – that would explain why I’ve gained 65 pounds already. As you can see by the photo above, I am quite huge. I cannot fit my hand around my belly – think beach-ball size.
Milestones: While *technically* he’s ready to come out, he could use a few more weeks of brain development to be perfect, otherwise I’ve effed up and my baby will have problems (you know those types of people, right? the ones who will make you feel like shit when you have your baby early or say you’re ready before 40 weeks comes – maybe their pregnancies were sunshine and rainbows… orrrr… IDK). His little fingernails are also grown – Arnold and I think that he’s going to claw his way out of me and that’s how the waters break. Science, you guys.
Best Moment This Week: i guess finding out that i’m 60% effaced… which could literally mean nothing, but knowing that somethjng is happening is good!! Also, (silver lining coming up) our car had to be repaired!! Yay for a shit throw out bearing and complete clutch replacement… partnered with having to rent a car for a few days because otherwise we would have no car. That’s okay because I guess forest will have a “brand new car” ready for him once he decides to come out.
What I’m Looking Forward To: His eviction date. Every morning, I get up and say “get the hell out of me, you freeloader” JK – I say very sweetly and motherly, “Hey Forie bear, when are you coming out? Mommy and daddy want to meet you and stuff!” And sometimes he kicks and usually he doesn’t. And then I’ll try to bribe him with boob milk, but he says “ehhh this cookie-amniotic fluid mix you’re giving me is probably a lot better, so I’ll stay longer.”
What I Miss The Most: Silly things, like rolling over and walking normally (it looks like a stick is up my ass) and my normal not-so-sassy personality. I am also soaking up my time with just me and Arnold (thanks for the advice everyone, i NEVER would have thought to do this on my own…) and also the kitties and hoping that Forest in the picture makes things even better.
Symptoms: the Braxton Hicks are strong usually in the evening – my midwife says this is cause of “moon stuff” and the full moon a few weeks ago did NOTHING for me, but since my uterus seems to be responding to moon stuff now, maybe a new moon baby is in the future? If “big” is a symptom, then that is my symptom. Big causes the following: sleepiness, insomnia, unable-to-roll-over aka turtle syndrome, loss of bladder control (shut up, i’m doing my kegels), and sarcasm/crankiness.
Cravings: We have had caesar salad so many times this week because of “cravings” – which isn’t a terrible thing to crave because it’s healthy. As always, pancakes.
DAD Thoughts: The countdown… like now less than double digits, i think, is freaking arnold out. I’m finally at the point where i’m “letting” him do a little bit more for me because i literally can’t anymore. He’s going to be the best dad though – nothing but super excited and supportive and willing to do what’s best for us.