So you know that after giving birth, it’s not just cute baby photos and snuggles and laughter and love… right? Okay… you’d be silly to think that. While it’s like 86% that, there’s also 14% that, to be honest, kinda sucks. Like // being in pain. ev.ry.where. well, mostly everywhere south of the border. Also, there’s frustration, adaption, fear, concern, and having to realize that not only are we learning, but so is our baby! I just wanted to focus on the first few days with our baby focusing mostly on how the hospital went and how being home with him felt.
All things considered, i can say that Arnold and I did not have the most relaxing and healing time at the hospital. i can definitely see why people choose to labor at home and then recover outside of a hospital. Now, i don’t know anything about how a hospital operates, especially after birth, but i’m going to share what it felt like and how i thought things seemed.
After delivering Forest, I barely had twenty minutes of skin-to-skin contact with him before a nurse came and snatched him up for measurements. this really threw me for a loop because this hospital was super insistent on how they promote at least an hour of that as well as latch help before anything else. UMMMM OK LOL. So, he didn’t get to latch right away and i wasn’t able to snuggle just us as long as i wanted. He didn’t even get to breast feed for a while until the same snatch nurse was like “oh i suppose we should try and feed now” (i will mention her later as snatch nurse). One good thing about this hospital is that they never take your baby out of the room to do anything – security is important and so is parental involvement. The next bit of time was kind of a blur to be honest, but next thing I knew, i was being wheeled into the family recovery room where we would stay for a while.
The first nurse we had there was amazing. like amazing amazing amazing. she was so sweet to me and Forest and walked us through everything and made sure that i was taken care of and on top of the pain management. I will always remember her and how she cared for us AND ARNOLD. She also knew how to answer any of my questions humanely and without shame or judgement. It’s too bad i only got to experience 12 hours with her. Out of the four nurses we had in our short amount of time, she will stick out as being the best. Another nurse we had – we will call her “nurse i forget her name” because she pissed me off enough and i honestly don’t remember her name. She kept referring to Forest as a girl. No, this is not some gender-related-upitty issue, but much more YOU ARE MY NURSE AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO ACT LIKE YOU CARE STARTING WITH REMEMBERING THAT MY BABY IS A BOY AND MY HUSBAND IS NOT NAMED ANTHONY. Not to mention she had cold dead hands and didn’t know how to answer anything i asked her. Nurse 2 was good at her job but that was it, and nurse 4 who was with me for only a few hours seemed like she was out of breath the whole time and ran me into the car so hard when she wheeled me out that it broke our front hood a bit. The lactation lady was… a weird reminder of someone i did not like in my past and really forceful – like, don’t smash Forest’s head into my boob and give him boob ptsd. She was also super adamant about me pretending that i am in survival mode and that breast is best and pumping should not be advised until 1 month and formula supplementation means that something isn’t right. blah blah something like that.
We wanted to go home as soon as possible. it was just really stressful because someone was coming into the room every 30 minutes and i was stressed and forest was having some deep latch issues at first and if i wasn’t getting pee or poop or latches on the most perfect of increments, i was being shamed and warned that something could be wrong. not to mention, he had some jaundice and “brick dust” in his urine and i wasn’t getting those concerns resolved for my own mental sake. The food was OK and there was a lot of that, and of course i would see the good in the food situation. One thing that i am SUPER PISSED about is this hospitals financial dealio. So, first of all – DO NOT PRE-REGISTER at the hospital – i’m pretty sure this is an invitation for the billing department to harass you for payments before anything even happens. i was sent multiple letters through mail, received multiple calls (in which i said please STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD – i will pay you after insurance is billed and the EOB goes through). but the icing on the cake is when some bitch financial woman came in and was demanding a deposit or some sort of payment. i got really upset at that point – how dare she come in and demand money from me when we are focused on healing and becoming parents.
You know, i tried to find a lot of good in my stay, but it was really hard. while i consider myself a “realist” at best, this post makes me come off as a super negative bitch face. After this, if i ever decide to have another baby, i will surely consider a home birth (do they give epidurals during home birth? asking for a friend.)