Category: motherhood

KRISTI + DAWSON • Motherhood / Donor Milk

The community behind advocating for feeding babies breast milk is tight knit and amazing AF. You know what’s even MORE amazing? Momma’s who share their breast milk and mommas who will use another woman’s milk because their views on the importance of breast milk is a priority. Trusting another woman’s body and goodwill to feed your baby is such a precious gift and experience. I think the togetherness that women exhibit when it comes to raising healthy babies is beautiful and it absolutely takes a village to raise amazing little people. Thank you so much to Kristi for sharing her story on supplementing Dawson with donor milk! <3

TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY

I feed my baby donated breast milk donated to him from my amazing friend Samantha. I also feed my baby formula bottles.

IS THIS THE WAY YOU HAD IMAGINED FEEDING YOUR BABY? TELL ME WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE

Not. At. All.
I had a plan to breastfeed my baby until he was one. My plan didn’t go according but neither did my pregnancy. Dawson was born 13 weeks prematurely. My body wasn’t able to produce enough breast milk for him. I saw multiple lactation consultants and did everything in the book to try and increase my supply. I even took a medication to try to increase it.

HOW DID YOU HAPPEN TO SETTLE ON THIS METHOD OF FEEDING

We had revived some donated breast milk for Dawson but Samantha gave him enough milk to last him until he is one.

WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INFANT FEEDING BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOTHER?

I think breastfeeding is amazing but I also think ANY way you have to feed your baby is amazing because I know the struggle and when it comes down to it, food is nourishment for your baby regardless of what it is.

HOW HAS FEEDING YOUR BABY THIS WAY MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON?

It has totally made me a better person. None of this would have been possible without Samantha and she offered this amazing gift to us unexpectedly and without question. I truly believe it has kept Dawson strong and away from sickness this past winter. As she has a son that she was feeding at home she was also pumping and collecting milk for Dawson. I will never be able to repay her for this and someday I hope to be able to do this for someone as she did for me.

WHAT TYPES OF COMMENTS (GOOD AND BAD) HAVE LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON YOU?

I have received good comments about people noticing that I think breast milk is important. I have also received comments like “isn’t that weird to you that you’re giving him someone else’s breast milk”

WHAT KIND OF ROLE HAS YOUR PARTNER PLAYED IN FEEDING YOUR BABY?

A huge role. He feeds the baby and connects during his feedings just as much as I do.

ANY ADVICE FOR FUTURE MOMMAS?

Do not stress.
I spent WAY too much time doing everything possible to try to produce more milk that I could have spend that time with my baby. Sometimes just accepting things the way they are makes life a lot easier.

May 20, 2019
STACY + BRAYDEN • Motherhood / Formula Feeding

If I had a dollar for every time I heard “breast is best” and whatever reason for why it’s best – I would be RICH AF. All of us would and especially the moms who are in mom groups. Scientifically, maybe – maybe – but see, that’s the thing. There are SO MANY FACTORS and everyone’s version of best is different. At least that’s how I feel. Who is to say what’s best for any of us and the pressure put on new moms on simply what and how they’re feeding their babies is insane. When do we step back and look at momma’s well being and sanity as a factor in determining what’s best? I remember having to supplement my son with Formula on top of breastfeeding, and the first time I went out and prepared a bottle of formula in public, I felt the extreme urge to grab everyone who was watching me (as if they were judging me for using formula and not breast, but no one wants to see your breasts feeding your baby in public) – and scream all of my reasons for formula feeding – as if I had to justify my reasoning.

Stacy and her hubby Andrew feed their son Brayden and you know what? Formula is best. It’s best because Stacy is HAPPY and a happy momma can help make a happy baby. And seriously, look at how damn cute he is with his yummy bottle! You’ll read below about her journey of feeding her son and the decisions and extreme thoughtfulness behind her choice. I resonate so much with what she says in regards to being mindful of your own mental health and anxiety. <3

TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY

My husband (Andrew) and I have chosen to formula feed our son Brayden.

IS THIS THE WAY YOU HAD IMAGINED FEEDING YOUR BABY? TELL ME WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE

This is the way I imagined feeding my baby.

HOW DID YOU HAPPEN TO SETTLE ON THIS METHOD OF FEEDING

I made the decision before we were even pregnant that I wanted to formula feed. My two older sisters and I were all formula fed so I think that also played a part into “normalizing” formula feeding and not really second guessing my decision. I also saw someone who struggled with breastfeeding and watched how painful and draining it was for her. I didn’t like the aspect of not knowing how much my child was eating and making sure they were getting enough. (I tend to have a control issue)

WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INFANT FEEDING BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOTHER?

I’m not sure I had many thoughts on it or even thought about too much just because I knew how I wanted to feed my child before I even became a Mom.

HOW HAS FEEDING YOUR BABY THIS WAY MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON?

I have struggled with postpartum anxiety and I think making the decision to formula feed has been great so I can focus on myself and not always feel like I am the only one that can feed my child and that it’s solely my responsibility. I think it has made me more relaxed and one less thing to stress about even though I still get stressed that he’s eating enough!

WHAT TYPES OF COMMENTS (GOOD AND BAD) HAVE LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON YOU?

I don’t think anyone has ever made a bad comment directly to me. There was one Instagram story of someone I follow who had recently had a baby and is breastfeeding and went on to say the best thing for babies to be fed is breastmilk. I wanted to respond with “thanks for the Mommy Guilt” but I didn’t :)

WHAT KIND OF ROLE HAS YOUR PARTNER PLAYED IN FEEDING YOUR BABY?

Andrew has played a huge role in feeding Brayden. During the first couple of weeks while I was healing and needing to rest Andrew volunteered to take the night shifts of feeding. Andrew definitely woke up more times in the middle of the night to feed than I did. (I know that’s not common and that I am SO lucky!)

ANY ADVICE FOR FUTURE MOMMAS?

Do what works best for you and your family. Just because one way works for someone else doesn’t mean you have to do it that way, or that it will work for you. You and baby will still bond no matter how you choose to feed your baby! If you choose to formula feed, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty of your decision. When we are out in public I have learned to shake my formula bottle with pride! :)

May 8, 2019
ERICA + XAVIER • Motherhood / G-Tube Feeding

I started out this “project” with the impression and overall conclusion that it really didn’t matter HOW you fed your baby and that all that really mattered was that your baby was being fed and nourished. I also had preconceived notions that food makes babies happy regardless, and while that may still sorta be true, I learned something new with Erica & Xavier. Feeding through a g-tube – basically directly bringing the food into the stomach – doesn’t have the same feel-good vibes (or chemical & emotional reactions for you science people) that ingesting food through your mouth would. A g-tube removes the taste & smell aspect from feeding, which is simultaneously associating food with pleasure.

When Erica & her husband or caretakers feed Xavier, it’s GO time and time to make feeding fun! That means surrounding him with his best stuffed animal friends and toys for him to keep entertained while the tube is in. I also got to watch him enjoy some yummy frozen banana cubes – I could tell he was watching me closely, making sure I didn’t want in on his yummy snack ;) Thank you to Xavier and his lovely parents for letting me be my creep camera self during dinner time. I learned so much from hearing your story and hope others do too.

TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY

Xavier is fed primarily by g-tube (gastrostomy tube). He was fed purely breast milk via tube until he was 6 months old. Unfortunately, I ran out of supply and had to start him on formula through the tube. During each feed we dip a pacifier in milk for him to taste what he is eating. He is also held and loved during every feed.

At almost the 10-month mark, he passed a swallow study with 100% normal swallow. Because he has never taken a bottle, it has caused sensory issues to Xavier for feeding. It will be harder for him to transition to eating orally because eating by mouth usually comes with being full and satisfied. He is now able to eat pureed/baby foods and it is a huge change for him. He is doing better every day and it has been fun to see what he likes and does not like. Loves avocado, chocolate and sugary foods. We have to incorporate a lot of play during oral feeds which is interesting. Anyways, tube feedings will continue until he is strong enough to consume an appropriate amount of food by mouth. We do not know how long that will be.

IS THIS THE WAY YOU HAD IMAGINED FEEDING YOUR BABY? TELL ME WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE

Absolutely not, but who imagines having a super amazing, adorable, and loving medically fragile and complex child with a normal pregnancy?

My ideal situation was to breast feed through the first year.

HOW DID YOU HAPPEN TO SETTLE ON THIS METHOD OF FEEDING

We did not really have a choice to feed Xavier any other way as his respiratory system was not developed fully. He was fed by a nasogastric tube for about 8 weeks of his life. Long term nasogastric tubes (tube that goes from nose to stomach) come with a lot of risks: skin breakdown, risk for aspiration, etc. After someone is fed by a nasogastric tube for a while, health care professionals suggest a gastrostomy tube to be placed (surgical incision with a tube placed directly to the stomach). Children can go home with nasogastric tubes, but it is often frowned upon due to the risks. While it was very scary for us to sign for Xavier to have a fairly easy surgical procedure done, this was a step to bringing him home.

WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INFANT FEEDING BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOTHER?

Damn, formula is expensive.

People that gave me unwanted advice on breastfeeding when I was pregnant annoyed the shit out of me.

Society is still weird about breastfeeding. If you cannot, who cares? If you can do it, great. If you do not want to, whatever. C’mon people, its 2019.

HOW HAS FEEDING YOUR BABY THIS WAY MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON?

Feeding Xavier via g-tube was the only option we had to help him thrive. The g-tube helped bring Xavier home and this was vital for all of us. I also attached a machine to my breasts for six months and had a love/hate relationship with a breast pump- I would say that is dedication.

WHAT TYPES OF COMMENTS (GOOD AND BAD) HAVE LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON YOU?

Good:

“At least he is thriving with the g-tube and tube feedings.”

“Be proud of yourself to have been able to provide breast milk to your child for six months.”

“What an amazing day it will be for him to enjoy his first birthday cake!”

“Sleep and mental health are more important than worrying about breastfeeding.”

Bad:

“What if he never eats by mouth?’

“Is he ever going to eat by mouth?”

“Oh, he will be fine now that he’s eating by mouth and he will have that tube out in a few weeks!”

“How can you pump if he has never been able to actually breast feed?”

WHAT KIND OF ROLE HAS YOUR PARTNER PLAYED IN FEEDING YOUR BABY?

My husband has been supportive of my pumping, formula and tube feedings. He is not in the health care field and adjusted right away to feeding Xavier through g-tube. He is my rock and has been amazing through this entire feeding journey. From cleaning my pump pieces when I was tired, to showing others how to feed our child via g-tube- what a person!

ANY ADVICE FOR FUTURE MOMMAS?

Moms, however you feed your children be proud. I have high expectations for myself and through this experience as a new mom, I have noticed how often we take the little things for granted. Whether its breast milk, formula, tube feeding- at least they are thriving! You are doing a good job and you are a wonderful mom.

April 24, 2019
BRIT + IRIS • Motherhood / Breastfeeding

So if you’re caught up to date with my blog, you know that I’ve been slowly meeting with women and discussing their views on motherhood. Well, I wanted to focus a little bit more on FEEDING and how us mommas feed our babies. It’s one of those things where EVERYONE, mother or not, seems to have some kind of opinion on how babies should be fed and what’s best and blah blah BLAH. I thought, hmm. What better way to learn a little bit more about feeding babies than to listen & photograph a handful of mommas, all of whom feed their babies differently. I asked each momma the same questions and sat with them and talked while they fed their baby with intentions of showing what it’s like – no glitz & glam – to feed a baby.

The first momma I’d like to share with you is BRIT and her daughter IRIS. She and I became friends through another local momma and she’s volunteered to share a little bit about her journey with breastfeeding and why she nourishes Iris that way. If you’re a little uncomfortable with breastfeeding images, watch out when you’re scrolling. I came over to Brit’s house with my son, Forest (who’s “friends” with her little dude, Wyatt) for these photos and experienced what it’s like being around a nursing momma. My son was also breastfed with an occasional bottle of formula and pumping here and there – Let me tell you what – when your baby needs to eat, sometimes you’re just gonna whip out the boob and give baby what they need. Follow along for her story and some adorable feeding photos.

TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY

Feeding my second baby has been a new journey for me. I didn’t get to directly breastfeed my first, so while I knew what to do with my supply, it was a learning curve getting comfortable with feeding her. While we were fortunate to not have latch issues (or supply issues) comfort and positioning were a whole other ballgame. That boppy pillow I never thought I’d use? It’s my best friend at home, but on the go? That was harder to figure out. It took me about 2 months to really figure out when, where, and how we were both most comfortable with our feedings. Today, our family took a walk and I was comfortable enough to feed her on the go. I felt like a champ all over again.

IS THIS THE WAY YOU HAD IMAGINED FEEDING YOUR BABY? TELL ME WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE

Honestly, yes. It’s been a dream. While Iris isn’t able to empty me and usually doesn’t have to change sides, this is what I wanted with my first. I didn’t understand when people who breastfed said they developed a bond with their baby over it. Now I get it, because when she’s eating and she looks up and smiles at me, it’s the most heartbreaking and heartwarming thing I’ve ever experienced.

HOW DID YOU HAPPEN TO SETTLE ON THIS METHOD OF FEEDING

I always wanted to breastfeed. First of all, let’s be real, it’s cheaper than formula. I liked the idea of not having to spend a ton of money on something that I could (conceivably) make myself. After having my first I knew supply wouldn’t be an issue, so I hoped with Iris I would be able to do both bottle and breast. Well, she only takes the breast – not interested in the bottle. This makes having anyone else feed her nearly impossible* but I’m happy I’ve been able to experience this.
*She will SOMETIMES take a bottle from Grandma or Daddy, but it’s rare.

WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INFANT FEEDING BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOTHER?

I’ve always been a “to each their own” kind of girl. I never want(ed) to put restrictions on myself or others. There is no “right way” to feed your baby. The important thing is your baby is fed and you are both feeling loved and cared for by those around you. Being a new mother is hard enough, let alone all the pressures we put on ourselves and each other. There is no room for judgment in how you choose to feed your kids, in my opinion.

HOW HAS FEEDING YOUR BABY THIS WAY MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON?

I think it’s made me the mother I need to be for Iris. I didn’t ever want to force one thing or another on my babies and that includes my boobs. When my first didn’t want any part of the breast, I didn’t “try to make it work” because he was perfectly fine with drinking breastmilk from the bottle and I was perfectly fine with pumping. Was it what I envisioned? No, but it worked and it didn’t create extra stress for me or my baby. I got news for you mama, MANY things from here on out are not going to go as planned. Try not to stress yourself out by building things up in your head about the way things “should be”. “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” For both you and babies sakes, go with the flow as much as you can.

WHAT TYPES OF COMMENTS (GOOD AND BAD) HAVE LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON YOU?

Honestly – I shrug a lot of stuff off. Good and Bad. It’s probably not a good trait, but I learn best by experiencing things for myself. And I learned a long time ago not to let the opinions of others influence me. It’s not what I’m about. I’ll always listen to advice and sometimes I keep it in mind, but sometimes I forget. I get wrapped up in the moment. Maybe it’s ignorant, but I’ve faired pretty well so far.

WHAT KIND OF ROLE HAS YOUR PARTNER PLAYED IN FEEDING YOUR BABY?

My husband was bummed when our second only wanted the breast. He was amazing with our first and would get up with him at night for feedings, even though he woke early for work. But he still gets up with me at night and gets me water, or the pillow, or just makes sure I’m comfortable. Sometimes if I need to pump he stays up just to hold her. It’s been a real blessing.

ANY ADVICE FOR FUTURE MOMMAS?

Do YOU. Ask for help when you need it. Acknowledge your feelings, good and bad. TALK about it. Talk THROUGH it. Find a safe space and try not to be afraid. You’re never as alone as you think you are.

April 18, 2019